


Season Five in Review

by CyberMum



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-19
Updated: 2010-04-19
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:05:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMum/pseuds/CyberMum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you stopped watching a long time ago, you can now catch up. Paramount owns them. I rhyme them. And critique them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Season Five in Review

In a departure from the norm  
I thought to try another form  
Of looking at Trek in prime time  
And submit my reviews in rhyme.

The season started with the plight  
Of Captain Janeway in the 'Night'  
She wallowed in self-scrutiny  
Which led to minor mutiny.

And when the time came to condone  
The preservation of the 'Drone'  
She dismissed Tuvok, dissenter  
Choosing Seven as One's mentor.

While Torres took some 'Extreme Risk'  
(Chakotay's treatment slightly brusque)  
In a space race to the wire,  
She approved the Delta Flyer.

While an alien babe 'In the Flesh'  
With her scaley wiles did enmesh  
Chakotay. So what else is new?  
Janeway tamed 8472.

In 'Once upon a Time' we found  
That rather than fables profound  
A 'Fleet child, galaxy-trotter  
Hears tales of Trevis and Flotter.

'Timeless', the one hundredth show  
Gave Harry Kim a chance to grow  
And once again to our dismay  
Gave us a frozen, dead Janeway.

When Seven in acute distress  
Showed signs of 'Infinite Regress'  
Tuvok melded with no quibble;  
Janeway thought that she'd met 'Sybil'.

B'Elanna was caught in a hug  
With an ugly alien slug.  
Crell Moset upset some crewmen  
In the show called 'Nothing Human'.

Paris disobeyed his orders  
Crossed the underwater borders  
Janeway sentenced with precision  
'Thirty Days' was the decision.

Janeway played clever cat and mouse  
With Kashyk, that Devoran louse,  
She was proved right in 'Counterpoint'  
Her instincts did not disappoint.

The Doctor became dramatic  
His behavior quite erratic.  
Janeway opted to re-program  
Her 'Latent Image' hologram.

And then there was exotica:  
Janeway: 'Bride of Chaotica'.  
Full of inventive Trek satire  
As well as some bizarre attire.

Voyager lost one more shuttle  
In an episode quite subtle  
'Gravity' of situation:  
Tuvok rebuffs adoration.

Now this would be J/C'ers 'Bliss':  
If Janeway shared one little kiss  
With her Commander, but instead  
The wormhole was a place to dread.

In Sweeps time we went to high gear.  
Two special hours. 'Dark Frontier'.  
The Borg was lost. The Borg was found.  
Who wants it the other way round?

When Harry Kim began to glow  
(A strange 'Disease' had laid him low)  
The Captain read the riot act  
And told him not to 'interact'.

'Course Oblivion' was up next  
Leaving us all somewhat perplexed  
Janeway's intransigent resolve  
Caused Voyager's crew to dissolve.

What nonsense did those writers hatch?  
Chakotay 'Fight' a boxing match?  
Angry Warrior he might be -  
A boxer not that I can see.

A 'Think Tank' came up with a plan  
To capture our attention span  
Not a warp speed salamander  
Guest star Jason Alexander.

B'Elanna needed food for thought  
She found it in the 'Juggernaught'  
A misshapen Malon creature  
Added to this creepy feature.

In 'Someone to Watch Over Me'  
Seven became the counselee  
Of the Doctor who purported  
To know just how humans courted.

Janeway traced her family line  
Back to '11:59'.  
And found that she did not relate  
The truth of the Millenium Gate.

If now is then, then when was now,  
The Captain swore to disavow  
Time travel. 'Relativity'  
Had much of this activity.

Harry Kim talking to a bomb:  
A 'Warhead', with a calm aplomb.  
Well at the time it made some sense  
In Trek strange things have sentience.

She opened a Pandora's Box  
When Janeway found the 'Equinox'.  
Another Captain - evil crew  
We'll have to wait to see part two.

So that's the end of Season Five  
Of Voyager, and now that I've  
Finished my poetic tricks  
I'll sit and wait for Season Six.

~*~


End file.
